I’ve been thinking about relationships lately. How we define boundaries and create fulfilling relations online and in real life. I wonder about myself. I wonder how my sarcasm effects the people I meet. Do I offend them? How? Why? Why haven’t they talked to me about it? Why haven’t I told the people that have “rubbed my fur backwards” that I am unhappy? Is that what being nice is? Hiding our true selves to save others? Or am I just scared to confront, are they?
I spent the 3 hours considering many things. Listening to ODESZA and petting Ralphie, travelling at 70 mph in a little trance on I5. I thought about my insecurities. I thought about my strengths. I remembered relationships I thought I had forgotten, bringing me back to my theme for this last week.
Have you considered how your own relationships are? Are they healthy? Do they promote a sense of pride in you? A sense of security? Can you rely on the people in your life to be around when you need them> are you around when they need you?
I know that I tend to be protective of people I love. I try to make things easier for them at my own expense. Whether that is emotionally or monetarily expensive is about the situation. At the same time, I think I fail to see or hear what people really need from me. If you have ever heard Brene Brown talk about empathy, it’s enlightening. I always thought I was a kind person, but maybe I am more selfish than I would like to think.
I am slowly looping back to my original thought on relationships. The real life ones and the ones on the internet. I have met many people through the internet. Many creative incredibly driven people. I always feel a sense of wonder at how they get it all done? cleaning, cooking, parent teacher conferences, designing web sites, blogging, sewing, painting, vacationing… it goes on and on. I am consistently confused by the time management. Then I realize, like most things on the internet, it is the best foot forward. You don’t see the screaming toddler, the insanely tired woman, the piles of laundry. You don’t see the words of someone trying to figure out how to get their toddler to stop shouting, or the mother hoping her teenage son has been paying attention and isn’t being an idiot.
So I have hope. I hope that this most recent little reset will renew some creative pursuits that fell into a side drawer. I hope that I can do the tasks on my house list and my business list. It’s a beautiful day so to start with, I am going to go for a walk in my new community and take it all in.